She’s baaaaaaack

Well, the rapture did not, in fact, happen tonight.

Sure, at 6 p.m. I found myself amid a passel of frantic souls, trying to claw their way out of a sweltering nightmare far below the Earth.

But that was just the scene on the 1 train after track work and a broken A/C unit meant a cluster of New Yorkers sweating like Arnold Schwarzenegger on Father’s Day (Too easy? Too soon?)

So the world didn’t actually end.

And that means I’m not off the hook for failing miserably at keeping up on this blog.

Damn.

As you may have noticed, I’m a little behind on my daily posts, just as Wesley Snipes is “a little behind” on paying his taxes. (“There’s only one Wesley Snipes in this world.” “You know there isn’t.”)

But here I am, picking up where I left off. The blog is back in action.

The Blog Returns.
Blog Hard II: Blog Harder.
2 Fast 2 Blog.

It isn’t that I haven’t been doing something new everyday. I have.

And for quite some time I was keeping a list of my “new somethings” because I had every intention of getting caught up on all my posts.

At this point, I think we can go ahead and place that particular plan in the “Just Accept it’s Never Going to Happen” file.

It’s a big file, overflowing with such items as “Woo Alec Baldwin,” “Fit into high school prom dress to facilitate wooing of Alec Baldwin” and “Stop making an ass of yourself by publicly admitting fantasies about wooing Alec Baldwin.”

You know what’s not in the file?

“Meet Alec Baldwin, discreetly take a whiff of his glorious cologne and determine to legally change your name to ‘Julie’ after Alec refers to you as such. Twice.”

Yes, I met him. Yes, I smelled him. Yes, you can call me Julie.

And yes, that would have made one hell of a blog entry.

Ah well.

While at this point it’s rather infeasible to catch up on nearly three months of daily posts, I thought I would give you a quick sample of a few of the new things that have enriched my life and broadened my experiences of late. During the past several weeks, I did the following:

* Baked a loaf of bread
* Meditated
* Went to a jazz club
* Talked to someone in prison
* Wrote a letter to my future self
* Officially registered as an organ donor
* Gave up something for Lent
* Went to the top of the Empire State Building
* Wrote a song
* Tried out ChatRoulette (Don’t. That’s all I can say. Actually, I can also say, “Show me your feet,” because that’s what my first chat partner said to me.)
* Invested in a film
* Wrote to an elected official
* Watched the Kentucky Derby
* Gave a twenty dollar bill to a subway musician
* Boarded the U.S.S. Intrepid

OK, one of these is not true. But which one?

I hope you’ll start checking in on my blog again regularly. I promise I’ll update it frequently. To prove it, allow me to recite the Blogger’s Oath.

I do solemnly swear to promptly update my blog so as to perpetuate my own delusion that anyone besides my mother actually gives a crap about the mundane details of my life.